Broken Egg
by CamCam
Summary: Derek Hale was crying. Worse, Derek Hale was crying over a broken egg. He wasn't sad over the egg. He was sad for himself, for his fucking horrific life, for everything he went trough and for what would obviously come later, because it was his life.


Derek Hale was crying.

Worse, Derek Hale was crying over a broken egg.

It wasn't a magical egg or with a baby in it or anything like that. He was just a simple egg he was planning to cook before it fell of the table. It was nothing really, yet he was crying over it and just couldn't stop.

He wasn't sad over the egg. He was sad for himself, for his fucking horrific life, for everything he went trough and for what would obviously come later, because it was his life.

He was crying over being fifteen and making the wrong choice, leading to him having to kill his first love ; it didn't matter that he wasn't the one who hurts her so badly she couldn't survive. He was the one who brought her here in the first place and it was his claws that pierced her heart. It was his eyes that turned blue that night.

He was crying over being seventeen and falling in love with the wrong person. The result was way worse than a heartbreak. Smoke and ashes and a family gone, just like that. Like it was never here and all that sustain was ruins and a hole in him so profound and hurtful he expected to die from it at any moment. It didn't matter that he wasn't the one who put gasoline in the house and light the fire, burning down everyone who was locked inside. He was the one who told her when they'd be at their most powerless state and it was him who didn't want to listen and trusted the wrong person. If his eyes hadn't already been blue, he was sure they would have been after that night.

He was crying over being eighteen and having only an alpha as pack now. Laura was amazing and she was the only reason he could still get up in the morning. She endorsed the weight of being an alpha without being ready and she did it the best she could. She was here for him and the two of them together, they tried to start living again. They got a new place, Laura got a job and he a degree. But when they got home at the end of the day, it was just the two of them. There was no pack to welcome them, no multiple heartbeats and voices and scents. Just two lonely heartbeats reeking of sadness, hurt and only longing for what was gone. They were an alpha and a beta, but they weren't a pack anymore.

He was crying over being twenty-two and having his heart stopped beating when the one and only bond he still had was suddenly gone, just like that, between one breath and the other. He left everything right then and followed his sister back to Beacon Hills, hoping, wishing so hard he was wrong. He only found ruins still reeking of ashes and his sister in two parts. It wasn't him who killed her but he was the one who didn't stop her to coming back. He buried her behind what was once home and was now only a graveyard for his family. He was just an omega now and wanted nothing more than to lay with them.

He was crying over still being twenty-two and looking for his sister's murder. His uncle was not really alive since a long time and another alpha was taking the Hale territory as his. He had to deal with newly turned werewolf and being accused of killing his own sister. When claws ripped him from behind and he chocked on his blood, he was actually relieved because then, he could finally find his family again. He got shot and tortured by the one who murder his family. But somehow he survived to discover his uncle was much more alive than he thought and had to fight him. He was the one who killed him and the weight of alpha's power was almost too much.

He was crying over being twenty-three and failing as an alpha. His tentative to build a pack was a big mess and he had created an abomination. He lived in an abandoned train station. Hunters were everywhere and he didn't trust anyone - wasn't trust by anyone either. He had been paralyzed, almost drown, shot, hit, betrayed, powerless. He watched his betas leaving him and his uncle coming back to life. He was an alpha but felt like an omega and all he could do was fail. Again and again.

He was crying over being twenty-four and trusting the wrong person, again. His betas were missing and he couldn't find them anywhere. His territory was invaded by a pack of alphas who wanted him to kill. He found one of his beta dead and his little sister alive. She didn't really trust him and he couldn't even blame her. He got teared up by her and his other beta, had a pipe going all the way through his body, fell of an abandoned warehouse. He couldn't trust his uncle and he couldn't fight back when his claws pierced the body of his beta. The person he saved and let in turned out to be a monster, killing people and trying to kill his allies. His sister almost died and he gave up his power for her, becoming an omega again. But after all, he has been an omega for a while now. At least he didn't have to pretend anymore that he knew what he was going. His "pack" was dead or gone and leaving with his sister seemed to be the right thing to do. Beacon Hills had a true alpha now and nobody needed him nor wanted him here.

He was crying over being still twenty-four and still being caught by life. He left BH only to be captured and tortured again. His return to BH was only to find out something else was happening and he has to fight again. He didn't know anything about Japanese demons and had to consider putting someone he cared about down. Once again, he couldn't fight when he was possessed and almost kill his ally. He was arrested, again, and had to be a shield when a bomb went off. He took some more bullets and punches and when everything was over, they had a body to bury. None of this was his fault but he couldn't do anything about it. And then, his nightmares came to life when _she_ found him again.

He was crying over being sixteen again and going through the loss of his whole family again. Except that, this time, Laura wasn't here. He was sixteen again and more alone than ever. When he was his age again, he was human and even more useless than before. He didn't think it could happen. He was weak and scared and he knew he couldn't really trust Braeden. He didn't want to. Not again. Everything was a blur until he became a total wolf. If on the moment, he was glad because he could finally take his revenge on her, all he could think when he saw himself was his mom ; and all he could think was how he wasn't like her and how he failed her - failed them all. He had gold eyes again but he knew better. The blood on his hands couldn't vanish as easily.

He was crying over all of this, and some more. He was exhausted, the kind of exhaustion you can feel in your bones. He tried so hard to be strong all these years and he managed to keep going, until now.

Until a fucking egg broke and everything in him followed.

For an egg.

It was so pathetic and he couldn't think of a better metaphor for his life.

So that's how he found himself on the floor of his kitchen, in the morning, crying all his life, next to a broken egg.

His sobs were heartbreaking and he felt so sorry for himself. He was grasping at his hairs and just wanted everything to stop, to stop hurting so badly. He was tired of all of it, of the pain and sorrow, of the mistakes and the anger, of the memories he couldn't let go and the self-hatred. He was alone, all alone in this and sure he would drown on it.

And then he felt someone sitting down next to him, putting arms around his frame and pulling his head against a beating heart. He didn't try to fight. He knew this scent and this heartbeat, could recognize them anywhere.

Stiles didn't try to calm him or to ask him was going on. He let him crying all his content, evacuating years of repressed tears. He didn't do anything else but holding him tight and rubbing his back, his arms, his hairs.

He was just here and it was more than enough. It was everything Derek didn't know he needed.

Finally, after what felt like hours, his sobs stopped and there was no more tears coming. He felt tired and empty but for once, thought it was a good thing. He didn't move from Stiles' embrace and Stiles didn't make a move to end it up. They stayed like that a little while before Derek found the courage to face everything.

He was a mess and he knew it. He could feel tears mixed up with snot drying in his cheeks and chin. His eyes were red and puffy, his hairs sticking everywhere. He didn't need to take a look at himself to know he was giving a pity image.

But when he looked at Stiles, he saw none of this. It was like Stiles didn't care of the state of his face because he was looking at him with not an ounce of disgust. All he could see was genuine care and affection. And understatement and pride, like he was actually glad that Derek finally broke down and let go of everything ; that he was finally acknowledging his pain and taking away the control it had on his life ; that he was finally decided to move on.

Stiles was looking at him like he was still worth fighting for and loving and Derek's chest constricted at that. He felt an immense weight lifting up of his shoulders and he breathed more easily that he had in years.

Stiles was here. He was here like he has been for a while, sticking with Derek through everything, seeing the worst in him and yet never leaving.

And Derek felt like he could do it, like he could move on and face everything that would come, because Stiles would be with him all the way. So when he finally said in a hoarse voice "I broke an egg", he understood when Stiles answered "It's okay. I'll help you pick up the pieces."

And they did.


End file.
